Sunday funday
If you’ve ever stepped foot in a Kenyan gym, you know one thing: instructors are a whole vibe. From motivational speakers who act like life coaches to drill sergeants who think they’re training you for the Olympics, here are the 10 types of gym instructors you can’t escape.
1. The Motivational Speaker
Before you lift anything, they’re already shouting:
“Success is rented, not owned, and rent is due every day!”
Bro, I just wanted to do 10 push-ups. Why are you turning my gym session into a TED Talk? 😅
2. The Drill Sergeant
This one thinks the gym is boot camp. They’ll have you doing burpees like your life depends on it.
“Again! Faster! No pain, no gain!”
Meanwhile, you’re lying there thinking: “But what if I just want to gain vibes?”
3. The Playlist DJ
They don’t count reps, they drop beats. You’ll be squatting to Burna Boy, lunging to Gengetone, and somehow deadlifting to Lingala. Miss a rep? They’ll rewind the track and start over. 😭
4. The Nutrition Police
You mention chapati ONCE and now you’re on trial.
“Ati you ate ugali after cardio? Weh, we need to talk.”
Suddenly you’re scared to post your plate on Instagram because you know they’re watching.
5. The Social Media Guru
Your workout doesn’t start until their tripod is ready.
“Wait, wait, let me record this set for my TikTok.”
Now you’re background cast in their “Day in the Life of a Trainer” reel, sweating like an unpaid extra.
6. The Bro
Their entire personality is “Chest day, bro.”
Legs? What legs? The mirror is their best friend, and their greeting is always:
“Bro, how much do you bench?”
Spoiler: it’s always more than you.
7. The Silent Assassin
They don’t shout. They don’t hype. They just quietly sneak extra weight onto your bar.
You only realize the betrayal when you’re stuck mid-rep like: “Jesus, take the wheel.”
8. The Comedian
This one cracks jokes while you’re dying in a plank.
“Don’t worry, the floor is holding you up.”
You laugh, lose form, and now you owe them 20 more burpees. Laughing through the pain = their brand.
9. The Show-Off
Why show you a squat when they can do it one-handed… while holding their protein shake? They’ll flip, jump, and deadlift like they’re auditioning for Kenya’s Got Talent. You just clap politely and cry inside.
10. The Big Bro/Big Sis
The wholesome one. They’ll ask about your water intake, remind you to stretch, and even check on your bad day. Training with them feels like being in a motivational Safaricom advert. 🥹
🏁 Final Rep
Kenyan gyms are full of characters, and if you look closely, your instructor probably fits one (or three) of these categories. Question is: which one do YOU have?
Tag your instructor (if you’re brave enough 👀).
Last Updated on 6 days by %Sunday funday%
